i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Randomize
