We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
