Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize
