Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Randomize
