I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
