it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
