she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Randomize
