so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
