I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
