she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
