my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
