i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
