There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I'd wear matching sweaters with you
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
Randomize
