They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
