Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
