I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
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