2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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