thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
