I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
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