can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Randomize
