Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
home. puking in laundry basket.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
