I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
