1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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