i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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