I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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