He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize
