it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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