I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
