if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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