Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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