I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
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