Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
