Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
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