There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
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