id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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