Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Are my feet made of real feet?
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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