hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
