Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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