You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
