nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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