i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Randomize
