Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
This toilet bowl is my home.
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