I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
he fucked my hip out of place.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
