their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
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