please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
