I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
