I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Randomize
