So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
You can't just leave with hair like that
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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