i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
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