shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Randomize
