all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
