If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
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