Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Do you have feelings for this penis?
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Randomize