maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
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