I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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